I bet you're thinking it was Whitney "Too
Rich for Crack" Houston who uttered these fabulous words,
right? While I have no doubt that the drug-addled diva has
surely been there on more than one occasion, this priceless
gem actually comes to us courtesy of MTV. While channel surfing
one night, I caught the tale end of a promo that featured
a female cartoon character unabashedly revealing her precarious
condition. I've yet to identify the show (MTV's website wasn't
much help), but this animated series definitely sounds like
it's worth checking out.
Alex, I'll Take Blond, Lesbian DJs
Even more intoxicating is news that DJ
Tracy Young will finally get her chance to rock the most infamous
roller rink in the world when she makes her Roxy debut on
Saturday, January 4. Tracy says she's honored to be spinning
in the same booth where Peter Rauhofer works his magic every
other weekend, and she's thrilled to take her place among
the many distinguished DJs who've played the legendary venue.
While the club's resident DJs are deeply appreciated, it's
refreshing to see the roster mixed up once in a while. Diversity
is always welcome.
Sure, it's not quite the same as playing
Madonna's wedding reception in Scotland or Britney Spears'
21st birthday soiree here in New York Tracy spun both,
thank you very much but the girl sure knows how to
read a crowd and is quite adept at adapting her style to new
rooms and audiences. Hence, I'm predicting a torrential downpour
of hurricane-force house hits and tempestuous trance music
that will force drenched revelers to cling onto each other
as they ride out the melodic storm well into the morning hours.
Incidentally, I believe this will be the
first time a woman has manned the turntables (no pun intended)
since Susan Morabito played Roxy back in January 2001. (There's
your throwaway trivia for the day.) Now let's see if we can
get these gals back more than once a year, okay?
In between her many high-profile gigs, Tracy's been working
on a chill-out album for Kunduru Music with her partner, Chris
Crane, entitled "Living Theatre." Backed by Buddha
Bar, Tracy and Chris have already completed eight original
tracks (of an anticipated 13), and are planning to release
the CD in April 2003. In the meantime, you can check out Tracy's
latest dance compilation, "PartyGroove: White Party"
(Centaur), and help support South Florida's Care Resource.
Please visit DJTracyYoung.com
for all this and more.
A Schoolgirl Crush
For those of you playing the Matt Home
Game, you'll be happy to hear that I have an official crush
on a boy (please move ahead two spaces). His name is Jonny
McGovern, and you've probably seen his adorable face plastered
all over every gay rag in town. Sure, he photographs well,
but the 3-D version is even dreamier than I imagined -- I
finally had the pleasure of meeting the infamous promoter/musician/heartthrob
recently, and I can report that he is as charming as he is
Also known as the "Gay Pimp," Jonny throws raunchy
parties, stages raunchy performances, and sings raunchy songs
(okay, so I won't be taking him home to meet mother). He's
also currently promoting a new album called "Dirty Gay
Hits," and he just debuted the raunchy video for his
raunchy new single, "Soccer Practice." His Sunday
night "Rambles" party at the Park in Chelsea is
also still going strong, and with no cover and lots of frisky
boys, how can you go wrong? Visit Jonny's raunchy website
Arguably London's most (in)famous nightclub,
in just over a decade the Ministry of Sound (MoS) has proliferated
to become one of the most recognizable brand names in dance
music, encompassing mix compilations, radio, publishing, touring,
and just about every other marketing medium available. In
a recent move that may even help it infiltrate lucrative mainstream
American markets, MoS has formed an alliance with MCA Records.
As the MoS empire has expanded over the years, some have criticized
that the music has become secondary to the business of promoting
it (you mean that doesn't just happen in America?). But its
new double-CD compilation, "The Annual 2003," should
help change that perception.
Mixed by DJ Sammy, the label's flagship
release features some of the biggest dance hits of 2002, including
Daniel Bedingfield's "Gotta Get Thru This," Mary
J. Blige's "Family Affair," and Amber's "Yes."
There's plenty of current music, too, like Mad 'House's "Like
A Prayer" (yes, a Madonna cover), Who Da Funk's "Shiny
Disco Balls," and, possibly my favorite track, "In
My Dreams," by Tina Ann (formerly of Dynamix). Overall,
the MoS folks present quite an impressive collection of artists
(Kosheen, DJ Tiesto and Moby, to name a few more) with a nice
balance of American, European and up-and-coming talent.
Both CDs will push those pretty equalizer lights to the limit
with their relentless energy and mercifully few drop-outs
or other annoying devices that don't translate very well into
your living room or headphones. So if you like your vocals
female and frequent, then it is with great confidence that
I recommend this compilation. Explore
MinistryofSound.com to learn more.
A Barrage of Garbäge
No one knows better than me just how expensive
it can be to quench a hearty thirst here in Manhattan. So
in the land of $10+ cocktails, is it really too much to ask
for a little respect and customer appreciation? While the
drink prices at Barrage - that inexplicably popular watering
hole in Hell's Kitchen aren't necessarily outrageous,
the staff and management's behavior often is. So after two
rather disturbing incidents of my own, I boycotted the joint
about a year ago. Simple solution, right? Well, some people
just have to learn for themselves, like my friend Greg (who
had practically been paying the bar's light bill each month)
Matt's Incident Replay: Greg and friend
stop by Barrage one night and order drinks from waiter. Both
take sips and set drinks down on ledge. Extremely drunk patron
approaches Greg and friend, and attempts to engage them in
conversation. Said drunk loses balance, falls into ledge,
and spills Greg's nearly full cocktail. Drunk stumbles away.
Waiter returns with smirk and asks Greg if he would like another
drink. Waiter brings replacement drink over and demands money.
Baffled, Greg asks waiter why, after having seen what happened,
he would be charged. Waiter responds that Greg should go after
drunk to cover cost, or pay for drink himself. Argument ensues,
and waiter finally tells Greg that he thinks he should leave.
Greg then asks to speak with manager. Greg calmly explains
situation to manager, who then reiterates waiter's suggestion:
"I think you better just leave." Greg and friend
depart, vowing never to return.
I'm writing about Greg's Barrage incident
because stories like ours are sadly not uncommon. If you are
ever treated rudely at this or any other establishment, I
encourage you to please stand up for yourself and make a statement.
After all, going out is supposed to be fun, right? So just
remember that there are plenty of other bars in town that
do appreciate your business, and they're not afraid to show
it. Just say NO to drama!
New Year's Eve
If you're still not sure which disco ball
you want to be under as 2002 fades away, or if you simply
wish to avoid the inevitable chaos of an overcrowded nightclub,
there is an intriguing alternative party called "Night
of the Ninety-Ninth Mirror Ball" that might float your
boat. Some of you may have attended the underground loft parties
Larry Krobath and Stephen DeRose used to throw at their home
on 18th Street. Now Larry is continuing the grand tradition
in a new loft with a fresh series of ritualistic gatherings
that offer a relaxed and comfortable dance experience in a
private, intimate setting. DJ Phillip Kimball will keep you
dancing until noon on Wednesday for $75 (water, soda, beer
and snacks provided). Please e-mail LarryNY@aol.com
for more information.
Bonus NYE party recommendation: DJs Keana
and Billy Carroll at Splash with special 3am performance by
Taylor Dayne. Enough said. Visit SplashBar.com
for more details.
Happy New Year everyone! Back at ya in 30...